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Don’t Give Up Your Life
If your family will not be kind to you this holiday season, please: be kind to yourself. A holiday can be a minefield of triggers, expected and unexpected, for those of us who grew up in...
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Can Bad Fathers Make Better Fathers?
Sean Davis kicks off a new series called “On Fathers of Fathers,” featuring adult children who address how their fathers influenced their parenting. In death, Sean’s dad becomes something more than a...
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A Son’s Letter Never Sent to His Dad
From surviving abuse as a child to battling alcoholism as an adult. Regrets, forgiveness, and the peace to move on.—It’ll be 12 years this April since my sister, your oldest daughter, called me...
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Evolution of Love — The Freedom of Goodbye
View image | gettyimages.com.Love hurts, if we let it. But we can evolve beyond the pain and fear when we learn to let go and say Goodbye.—Oh the evolution of love. We’re all experiencing it, whether...
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From Broken Dreams to Dream Street
From being raised by relatives, caring for his mother, mourning a father he barely knew, and homeless. To performing his own songs on stage.—I was born October 15, 1984. Most people don’t know this,...
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Why We Tell Our Story and How It Liberates Us
Telling our story of abuse does not erase it, but it is part of the work that is needed to heal. —I told my story of abuse because keeping it a secret was choking the life out of me. It wasn’t enough...
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My Inheritance From My Father
View image | gettyimages.comA daughter learns to accept the inheritances from her father, good and bad, and appreciate them for what they bring to her life.—I inherited my Dad’s legs. I also inherited...
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Forgiveness: My Sons’ Painful Journey to Freedom
View image | gettyimages.comTheir alcoholic father left them a legacy of abuse and hate, but they learned to leave that behind.—He was told he had two years to live, longer if he quit drinking. He...
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9 Common Struggles for Adult Children of Alcoholics
If you’re an adult who grew up in an alcoholic family, some things can’t be outgrown.—Alcoholism has a lasting impact on children.Most of the adult children of alcoholics that I know underestimate...
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What Adult Children of Alcoholics Need to Know About Perfectionism
Embed from Getty ImagesFor adult children of alcoholics, trying to be perfect and a people-pleaser comes with weak boundaries.—Addicted, dysfunctional and chaotic families are a breeding ground for...
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The Addictive Pull of Perfectionism
Not gonna lie, this piece makes me a little nervous.It’s not because I don’t understand what I’m writing about. It’s quite the opposite. I understand a little too well.The pull toward perfectionism...
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Comment of the Day: ‘The sad part is, it’s no one’s fault’
Embed from Getty ImagesThis comment was by Will in reference to the post – 9 Common Struggles for Adult Children of AlcoholicsI’m an ACOA, only recently have I learned about the effects of alcoholic...
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How to Know if the Woman you Love is Codependent
—Caretakers are often sensitive, compassionate, deep feelers, and problem solvers. They take care of stuff. They feel called to save the world. No problem is beyond them. Part of what makes healing...
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The Day Dad and I Didn’t Meet the Mets
Embed from Getty Images It sounds so silly — I got into recovery when I was 29 because my dad wouldn’t go to a Mets game.My sisters, who were sober by then, just laughed at me when I told them my...
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4 Practices that Will Unhook You From the Anxiety Trap
“I’m the dude, playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude!” – Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.) – Tropic Thunder (I mean, did I even have to identify THAT movie?)I’m tired. Physically, mentally,...
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Why Adding Cocktails to Your Emotional Mix Might Not Be Working
A cocktail at the end of a rough day is an understandable indulgence. If it becomes routine, you might be coping for parts of your life that are out of balance.In my experience, alcohol is a...
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Addiction and Recovery: When Your Parents are the Problem
— The church was on the corner of two busy avenues. Once inside, silence set in, as if there was a divine element at play. Up the staircase two flights, we sat in a large wooden room, a space the...
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Caregiving Can Wear You Down
Since Thanksgiving weekend, I’ve been sick with an upper respiratory infection (URI). As an asthmatic, URI’s tend to go to my lungs. My son, too, is sick and in bed (no way for a teenager to spend the...
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On the Road Less Traveled
Years ago, as part of the healing discovery, I participated in Al-Anon. After all, my dad was an alcoholic, which he revealed as I was growing up at home. Al-Anon is the support group for the family...
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